Cheese and Key Lime Pie
Pt. 1
Im tangled up in mixed decisions..
Obstacles overwhelming
I'm forgetting my life's mission..
Just Wishin..
Hoping... Trying to glue back pieces
broken and missing..
But every step i take to fix it.
I get set back and barely missed it...
I guess life can be a bitch, shit...
Or not...
Maybe it was just supposed to happen...
Maybe the show was decent at first...
but now the audience stopped laughing..
Debating...
Life at a crossroad. Hesitating.
It's not the gift of life that I'm hating....
I'm just tired...
Too many losses got my nerves on fire..
I'm expired...
Spoiled. This trash needs to be thrown out...
The type of problems that keep occurring
shouldn't be happening because they say I'm grown now.
But fuck it I own my now..
Not that im bragging about owning it.
Losing signal now im roaming
Wi-Fi signal lost
but still using my phone and...
Checking my balance its negative..
Even as life still gives me shit..
I accept it even when i don't want to accept that shit...
It's just perspective. Shit..
They say I'm not legit.
Well.. Shit. I can't quit...
Not yet at least.
Google got me on click.
My mind's sick. On tips and tricks.
Got me feeling like John Wick...
Methodical. Logical.
Pullin audibles like the prodigal. Son.
Got ideas coming second to none... But fuck it...
This emotional roller coaster got me wanting to kick the bucket...
My life really sucks shit.. But still attempt to fill my cup shit... Are you still drinking from the fountain?
I thought you said you were above it.
Oh well. Either way...I'm ok... Not the subject anway...
My baby mama is still pissed and i dont know what to say.
I guess I'm Mr. J. Joker.
I'm a villain in the description,
Fuck subscriptions...
Rapid visions...
Due from the stress of life but you know they dont listen...
Or they do and laugh. Id probably do the same i suppose...
Or Whatever brings me inner peace..
Sorry for the words i chose...
Im on the fence...
Lost in suspense...
Forgot my 2 cents..
But i got a dime. Now the feelings tense...
Guess i really didn't understand what that meant.
This moment already happened though...
Computer predictions...
Probability... Lottery tickets..
Or keep digging my grave.
Save for commissary or a few visits...
Institutionalized or better yet,
bars around a bird...
Or lions and tiger and bears...
But not the 1st 2nd or 3rd...
The Art of Friction.
Cheese and Key Lime Pie
Pt. 2
I'm no role model. Im on fire.
Stop drop and roll but please don't follow.
An energy exchange. From what you see and can't see..
Im lookin crazy as hell but got you slowly advancing...
Most might say it's pointless anyway..
Dull at the end and don't work.
I'll practice my trance. Let it guide me. Trust my intuition.
Be optimistic for what its worth.
Spirit flowing. Focused. Better..
And read clear and concise when reciting my letters...
I will not forget the message.
Or however my higher power shows...
Different mediums. Inanimate objects.
Creative thoughts in my skull.
Mind body and soul.. Brings me back.
I didn't mean to spill my cup when shit got off track...
Stop.. Repeat then come back...
Repeatedly making some contact..
Heavily sedated need to relax...
Maybe Prozac. Or Ritalin..
This fucked up life got me talkin some shit again...
But i know its perspective. My brain is selective..
I need patience... Meditation..
Found something within but i don't say shit.
It's best that way... Shit..
Being simplistic....
Efficiency, Knowledge and Mystics.
Possibly linguistics.
Translating... Something beyond.. Some bullsh...
Differentiating the 2.. 3.. Or 4 got me losing my cool...
Sound insane.. clinical....
Fucked up thoughts but not cynical...
Mining ores and minerals... Of wisdom that is.
Just not in this interval... Point of the pinnacle..
Circle circle... dot dot... I thought I got my cootie shot.
Fever hot. Now i forgot... Not corona. Lime a rita.
Drinking solo...I need another distraction...
Attention deficit disorder got me hearing reactions...
No satisfaction unless action got me going berserk..
I have faith... Somehow. I know God will make it work.
If not. It's ok. I shouldn't be a problem..
Treat life like an equation...
Man.. it just needs solving...
Still revolving around that same shit...
Not aiming for fame or no lame shit...
Got a bad hand bluffing in this game shit...
Got a million ideas but still don't make shit...
I'm in a bad spot but still takes shit...
I talk a whole lotta shit...
I apologize. For some of that fake shit..
Or some debatable shit...
Really makes me wanna pop a pill shit...
I'll fade back and just chill shit..
But thats just as i feel shit..
That's real shit. Fuck it.
Finding Balance in a Game of Tic Tac Toe pt.1
Regardless of my life's troubles
I'll still try and stay at peace
I may not get the whole.
Half..
Or piece of that cheese..
But when i sneeze.
Bless you...
Is what id say in the moment..
Talk some abstract bullshit got my forehead zonin
I don't know im on the phone
I didn't mean to call collect
Sorry that my vibes got me crying bout my ex.
Or my car.. Or my stability..
Skill set. Mind set or ability
Losing my thoughts agility
But this shit just feels so real to me
Lost reality..
But not..
I was gonna say something but got lost and forgot...
Good one right.. Nah.. Just part of the game...
Finding balance in tic tac toe got lookin the same...
But you dont hear me..
Or tired of hearing me
Lost in translation
But not what it appears to be..
It just is....
You dont have a lot of options so just choose to live?
Got extra? Then give..
Oh.. You on that kinda shit?
Get sappy and walk away from that shit..
Get happy like moths to a flame to that shit..
Thats cool..
I get it..
No explanation needed
All bullshit aside
The soil's already been seeded
You can't see it..
But it's here...
Its always been here...
Choose love over fear.
And a little sugar, dear.
I dont wanna steer you wrong way
I know im stuck in my ways and I know you could get lost in a lot of stuff that i say.
Finding Balance in a Game of Tic Tac Toe pt.2
i don't mean to delay.
But todays a new day..
Yesterday's old news...
Get a new perspective
And walk in some new shoes..
Metaphorically speaking
Gotta ground myself
Before i start teaching...
Preaching...
Going on and on in that same loop
But dont say a peep man.
I can't sleep... I should try counting sheep..
But i can't focus because i see a sheep in short sleeves
and a shirt.. Slacks.. Or maybe I'm losing my mind...
On the outside i think im fine.
But my heart still loves blind..
Losing time...
Or something relatively close.
No inspiration just desperation
Medication second dose...
Recreational..
Sensational.
She was patient
Now she's disappointed
I'm a poet talking to stars...
Admiring those one's anointed
As complicated. Jaded and as messed up as it seems
I still come back to faith and still say follow your dreams...
We all have pens.. And paper..
My writing is done well with a muse
Art therapeutic
Im persistent but confused..
Drained and used..
Not the greatest description
But these psychotic episodes got me rethinking prescriptions.
Or evictions...
Possibly strangle with addiction
Point missed..
losing bliss..
Got my mind feeling sick man...
Fuck..
John Lennon
Killing Time. Hallucinating.
Lucid dreaming. .. Still a no name...
Ignite the propane.
Fire it up, Autopilot,
Now I'm talking like I got no brain.
Wasted and I feel no pain,
Putting the Blue flame
To some of that shit that can get so lame
Looking like I got no game
Contemplating, still refill
Now I'm feeling so drained.
Overdramatic when I got no Jane
Mary... Oh shit I'm tripping. dancing,
Looking like I be on soul train.
No need to complain
Self entertainment. Off the chain. maintain
Swerve but still stay in my lane
No Aim. No motive
And no time to explain
Tucked up under this umbrella
But I'm a still walk in the rain
Know what I'm saying
Undertaker. Not Seth , Able or Cain
Unstable, unable, Anesthesia, Novacaine
Not insane. No, I don't feel nothing at all
I'm lit until I trip, slip stumble and fall.
Dizzy mixed with alcohol
I'll get my blood flowing
I'm like my own self sabotage
Fuckin up, forget , and not knowing
Still owing restitution. Priorities not in check
Falling out of balance
Feels like there's a dart in my neck
I gotta fix or just replace it
Let it go won't chase it
Past the stars. Comets blazing
High enough. Not at my peak
Throwing stones in the past
Making the future concrete
Take a step in the heat
But not using my feet.
Feeling an ancient mystique
If you ask you might receive
Lost keys, Talking to trees
Got me tripping in the ocean
Got me drinking wild seas
Priceless. But Still Free
Still got an Ace up my sleeve.
Calm my nerves , smoke this tree
I feel like I'm in the Odyssey
Don't give a fuck,
Get stuck in apologies.
Hesitation, Vibration
Situated in my Biology
So logically, I'm not stressing
Come to think about it
I'm probably just guessin
Too blessed and I'm not in it
Just to win it, I'm just countin minutes
So what's intended
Look how many friends just unfriended
Look at this abstract, altered state,
Mess of a story
And if any of this actually worked
Then of course God gets the glory
Algorithmic Formula... Cooking in the laboratory
Animated Reality .. Flipped the script
Now I'm just enjoying
Clock is still ticking
Every moment is another chance and I'm still livin
Life used to give me lemons
Now Lucy's in the Sky
I'm not John Lennon
Diamonds ...
Cream of the crop. Pop off the top
Don't stop. Don't quit
Fuck it, Forget it. If you know what I mean tho.
I'm riding dirty but I'm a still keep it clean though
No innuendo.
Got no games
Except Mario on the Nintendo
I don't condone my lifestyle
Don't trip it's just pretendo
Trust me I'm not going mental
Try to find time. Remind myself to repent though
Find serenity in my prayers even after I vent though.
Data analytics, marketing predictions know what I meant though.
Poking Holes
to Let Out Steam
Blessings.. or a curse..
Life...
Cracked nutshell.. What's worse?
Talk shows on mute...
Who cares who's watching.
Life is but a dream
In a stream thats forgotten.
Obstacles overwhelming
As I'm bobbing and weaving
What use is believing
When my company is leaving.
They say just be patient
You spoke freely of faith
A snowball effect
Now this happiness feels fake.
They call me a con man
A thief in the night
Somehow he knows all the answers
About darkness and light.
He plays on the spectrum
He can't prove these dimensions
The frequency of vibrations
Misunderstanding translations
Proof of ascension.
Fuck proof, give me a drink.
I feel like I'm the loudest one in the room when I think...
Can you feel my emotions?
Do you sleep when I sleep?
Am i truly free to live?
Or should I just be sheep?
Are you connected? Are you in? Where's my moment of Zen?
Are we one with universe?
Or just a game of pretend?
Oh.. The bets are on.. The horses race
A flower grew near second base
A bitter taste when you see my face
You'll never know until it's too late
I contemplate but second guess
My intuition can be a mess
Everyday feels like a test
But i guess that's the result of thinking I'm blessed.
And I still am.. I'm grateful..
But ignorance is bliss
The misinformation...
Is just like a kiss..
Life is what it is
In a zone of perspective
I just wish that I wasn't always so reflective...
A 2- way mirror...
You see me.. I look and i see myself..
Past, present, future...
Just a product on the shelf...
Give me a number..
Am i expensive or am I cheap?
If I'm another returned item...
Does that mean I'm not free?
Where's the whiskey.
Margaritas, did you feel that change?
If you said how far this goes
Would the world rearrange?
But i suppose I'm dollar tree
Cheap but still good for wood..
Log cut in balance
But who says fire's no good?
An opinion I say. And simple is key
I'm not perfect...
But i guess thats why I'm working on me...
Perfect only exists...
In numbers and shapes..
My mind's a pariah
A dream I might escape...
Peace ✌
Finding Balance in a Game of Tic Tac Toe pt.3
This is real life...
I wish i had my own answers..
I cant even find my own light..
Its alright...
This ain't my first time chillin with shadows.
I know i look like im talking crazy
but it really ain't bad though...
I guess... I mean.. Shit there goes that ramble..
Goin on and on got my mind all scrambled...
... Key note..
Harmony...
I dont know why normal is so hard to me..
Its rare..
I'd tell you a secret but I doubt you'd care...
They sit, wait and stare
for something special..
But its not there...
But it is... Its that one feeling..
And you dont know why..
That one that sparks those memories and key words on the fly..
Mask on.. Anonymous..
Batman sign in the sky..
The boy who cried wolf
But the wolf said he's a lie
A piece of the pie.
If i ask..
She doesn't act like exist...
But as soon as i stop payin attention..
'Have some pie now i insist'
Still think there's a point i missed...
Or maybe .. They missed the point...
They say im too emotional go outside and smoke a joint...
Or the opposite..
Chill out and stop my shit...
But i feel louder when im not on my shit...
Neurotic.. Overthinking.
Stupid shit pops up when im blinking
Or my stomach starts sinking
And I wish i was drinking...
Breaking old habits and learning new things man..
I observe and it's still the same.. Decorated with new lights...
I Didn't mean to kill your vibes
Its just that the puzzle fits..
Didn't mean for you to second guess yourself in this shit...
Just know I support your decisions...
Moving forward even when fucked up and wont listen
My emotions are confusing and dont match the description.
Got a growing list of convictions
A music theory.. Special dance..
Or magician with bad tricks...
I ask this. Forgive me.
I let obstacles take me down.
I ultimately control my actions
But my mind still holds me down...
Definitely not my first choice..
Sometimes it's just hard to differentiate that one voice..
Finding Balance in a Game of Tic Tac Toe pt.4
Is there any Iast question before i go.
Or is there really anything else besides my life i don't know?
Or wanna know...
Not really...Go ahead.
Take till the last drop..
If the well runs dry
I apologize.
My mind stopped..
X's and O's back to the top...
I keep my world small...
I like to keep it that way that way..
That way i can see it all...
Of course thats not how it'll always be.
In any situation. Choose love or positivity.
Gased up by negativity
Dont let fear run your life.
Or use those tools as fuel.
Independent variable
A choice i choose to be cool.
One Two Three Four..
Maybe even a bit more..
Sometimes like disappearing and imagining the shore.
Manifesting. Visualizing Constant flow of...
Ride the wave...
I'm grateful...
But I'm stuck.
Fucked
and still throw confetti in my life's shit show..
Yea It happens...
Probably embarrassing..
talking senseless,
articulating visuals and rapping..
Im completely aware of my connection
But half of me is sabotaging
Im thinking natural selection
Data collection
No virus protection
My mind's gone but still going and cut up in 5 sections
Up down left right
Sounds like a code to life..
...But more complicated..
Or more simple depending if I'm faded...
Im silent... But my mind's violent.. I can't help it...
Many voices, the same face.
I can't completely hear but still felt it... Mind playing tricks again.
Finding Balance in a Game of Tic Tac Toe pt.5
I'm a loner, a stoner..
Im starting to give less fucks..
Its like my roof is caving in
Can't get outta this rut..
But luck ran out only because i thought it was luck...
But it wasn't luck
Got a safety net and gave me love... Soft landing.
I shouldn't have gotten this far..
But i already knew what's up..
Every sign. Every reason. so much bullshit gone wrong...
A repetition of emotions but still singing the same song..
Redundant.. Still wanting..
My thoughts can be haunting..
Another stupid situation..
But going so wrongly..
...I should've stayed home..
I'd rather be boring.. Lame.. Judged.. I don't care..
I'm still the same dude I apologize for the shares..
Shitposting back to back shit you didn't ask for..
How's the weather?.. How ya feeling?
Not sure why you'd ask for?
Feeling Hot.. Heart Cold..
My tongue not held..
Not a lot left to lose..
Fuck death.. Fuck jail..
I'm just me. Shit happens..
They say whats that dumb shit you talkin about when you rappin?..
I didn't hear you..
No i wasn't being sarcastic
We're probably not on the same page..
But yes i accept cash or plastic... I'm full of shit... Delirious. But can you tell when I'm joking?..
Probably just want some peace and quiet..
But im stressed out chainsmoking...
Still hoping. Then lose hope reach out for a band-aide.
Probably the least of my thoughts..
But my brain feels man made..
... Wishful thinking...
Isn't bad.. But shouldn't be relied on..
Put gears all on in motion..
Compassion works until your mind's gone...
Selfish..
Guess i should be..
And still don't wanna tip the scales..
Fuck it.. I won't dwell..
Maybe I can try casting a spell..
Or maybe not..
Lol..
Shit you'd probably give me hell..
At this point.. I don't know..
All jokes aside... I was building something you cant see. A mystery that's really hard to believe..
Something thats driving my subconscious crazy...
Maybe...
Its was all love though...
Rubies, Gold & A Blue Sphere pt.1
Shine the lamp in the dark.
Feel the answers.
I'll attempt to put it in writing...
Igniting a little light. My brain cells all split like they're fighting...
Clear it out.... Empty it.. Let it go...
Nothing matters in this moment.
Mind body soul... Never once told...
Prayers sent. Dice is rolled..
Harmonize all for one to make whole.
Vibrations all brought to a hum...
Bring an acoustic sound to the bass drum...
It will make sense later if it doesn't already...
The moments we balance and keep it steady...
Fulcrum or pulley when heavy...
or changing your wires from copper to gold.
Better conduction of electric flow... But fragile if handled without care..
Lightning struck a Key. Did Franklin make a spare?
If you ever get close enough to understand it all...
A microcosm in comparison. You notice your back at the start...
You realize you didn't fully understand it all and it's more complicated than art...
Still beautiful though In my opinion. If you get far enough you realize the point gets further away the closer you that you get....
It's almost seems as if you're moving backwards but you just keep moving towards it... You question it..
Did i take a wrong turn somewhere at the light?... Was it the 4- way 2-way, or fork in the road I passed when I was supposed to take a right...
Regardless... I need to turn on my lights so i can see the road right?...
Lights on. No path. Journey still a struggle...
Living with anxiety trying stay out of trouble...
Tuning out what i see...
Adjust the contrast on my monitor... thermostat cool
regular on the thermometer...
Out of focus.
Now bring back focus. Bring to a point you see...
Eye level. Release tension. Breathe...
A calm breathing...
Focus is low. Edges are still squared...
Face is weightless.
In this moment you're there...
But you're not there...
Hands hanging by your sides... eightless..
The power of not knowing...
One might compare to knowing...
Sometimes, Loving what you can't see...
Reaps a better harvest than the proof of showing...
But its not the magic or the miracles...
Or finding the source or where the spirit goes...
It's the miracle of sparking an idea or belief in something higher than one's self...
Creating an efficient community while planting the seeds for someone else.
Do something for someone else.
Remove obstacles from visual sight...
Upgrade one's true potential.
Your brain is a flashdrive...
Upload data that will benefit your growth...
Sparking that motivation and bringing you to heights you thought you couldn't go....
What's on your usb now?
You think, If someone got ahold of your Usb...
Went through it. Casually...
Placed it on that huge monitor in New York City...
Would you be cool?..
Not the embarrassing parts....
A rhetorical question anyway.
The point is that life is art....
Ever-changing. Can be viewed differently by everyone..
A new pair of eyes on outdated ideas
might prove as valuable as Gems.
Rubies, Gold & A Blue Sphere pt.2
Finding your... Inner peace...
Doesn't have to be as complicated as it seems..
Tranquility...
Free your body..
Even if you dont know what that means.
Close your eyes. Chin up..
Imagine a sandwich... The details...
Or a fresh strawberry...
Warm buns out the oven...
Your favorite cup of coffee in a coffee shop full of Love and...
In that moment.
This is relaxing.
Release any extra contracting muscles in your hands and shoulders..
Straighten my back again. Gotta remind myself as i get older.. Vision focused. Disconnecting.
Push down on the inside of the soles of my feet...
Try to be aligned.. Energy focused on the lower half of me..
Up. Down. Shoes pointed straight...
Left. Right. Be loose and be straighted...
Theres is everything and nothing...
Honest Abe sits to a T.
Nobility. A mindset in hieroglyphics
Or passed through from the tree.
To try without trying.
Be In the moment.. Smile blissfully..
Say grace thankfully.. for all..
For yourself.
Love pulling from somewhere that's a mystery to explain...
But no explanation is needed when there's nothing to explain...
It just is..
Ying- Yang spinning.
Planting seeds for the next generation to live...
But to teach the importance of the passing of knowledge and wisdom.
Being taught from someone of experience
Not all is based on what's written..
Tolerance and compassion..
Trusting the process and life missions...
Intimacy and bonds are formed when learned as a group or family.
Pushing beyond limits.
We can be more than we can be...
Living to create a world so that the next generation has the tools....
To push beyond what our generation has...
Doesn't make us fools...
On the contrary..
To teach them the importance of teaching...
So the next generation after that will do the same thing...
Rubies, Gold & A Blue Sphere pt.3
Physical reminders.
Alignment... Balance.
Heartfelt prayer, meditation
Straightening your back against the wall..
Self analysis, (self- control)
Or attempting to straightening one's life overall...
There are countless benefits.
Its Simple and can be...
Put into practice anytime it's Free...
For all to take..
Or.. it's affordable..
Probably too expensive..
Depending on..
Whatever psychologically suits your taste..
A wise man said...
You may invest yourself more.
If invested from your core.
If you pay for it
Then you might care for it more.
Psychologically making concrete
A tangible reason to believe
or another reason to move forward..
Natural energy for a boost..
Could be done better with a group.. Meditative stretches
To start of the day
Home, work or school...
Endless possibilities.
Virtual settings, Zoom, social media.
Understanding how...
Long term benefits and risks
And not just facts on Wikipedia.
Thinking outside the box.
We can rewrite history..
Fine tuning daily activities.
Extra sensorys excercised and praised for what those gifts could be.
Potentially
To the world or our species..
Your brain operates better when aligned Straight...
Without a slouch and without strain..
A simple but crucial step for memory and back pain.
Creating autonomous body active tasks.
So longer use of technology won't affect our metabolism fast
Preventing learning curves or finding a new process to make things easy.
And prevent the reverse in the advancement of evolution of our mind and species.
Fine tuning.
Not the answer or fix.
But a small piece of the puzzle that fits
Never done. ..
Brainstorming ideas
Blending serenity with technology. Mental health
As well as active activities.
New ways of communication
or a new style of VR...
Quantum mechanics.
Cleaning the environment
Advanced digital equipment to see past the stars..
To invest in the seeding
Seeing beyond what we know...
Working in harmony
While also creating something beyond our own soul..
Beyond our time..
Beyond what we know...
Relationships and knowledge.
Rubies and Gold.
Wisdom exchange for the passing.
The choices we make have the power
To be forgotten
Or be everlasting..
Looking through fire...
Mind over matter..
Mad Hatter. Brain scattered. Script. Torn and tattered.
Regardless these moments matter.
Acceptance...
Eh . . still not achieved...
I just can't...
I dont wanna but I gotta be Content with this life.
All i see...
Are set backs where there shouldn't be...
My soul's rich.
But not in reality and there's a cavity.
Having anxiety
Strategically killing my vibes.
I'm getting dizzy...
From these multiple personalities
Fucked up insults then attempting to give advice
My stupid life...
Rolling the dice.. once again.
No wins.
Ive used up and totaled my credit.
Same bullshit. Different story.
I want results but still dont get it.
I can't breath.. i need a medic..
Losing my mind. But i wont let it..
I apologize.. no disrespect
Difficult...
Im getting better control...
Kind of... Not really..
A work in progress, yea i know...
I feel completely slow.
Regretful decisions and Tunnel vision
And I shouldn't be driving though..
Intoxicated, unmedicated and I have no room to talk though.. In reality..
I through a rod out of state and ruined my car bro...
Lost it...
Now I'm walking slow.. Instability in the holidays.
I'll still attempt to let go.. Drifting away like balloons you let slip from your grasp...
Shakespeare On Channel Zero
To be... Or not to be...
That is the question...
Influenced by society...
Trials and life lessons..
What defines good?
Doing what others think you should?
Not to be misunderstood.
Abstract thought..
Seeking to understand starts with a choice.
Repentance, personal prayer and then you heard a voice
Heard the noise..
Static.. Addict
Developing bad habits
Murphy's law is automatic
Acknowledged but don't admit..
This luck and this depression makes makes my decisions shit...
Intrusive allusive but all still a daydream.
Baffle with bullshit but still cannot save me
I wait, medicate.
And i ask... Why me?..
Out of context...
Why's the problem looking like me
Invert negative shade of darkness
Properties flipped
What for?
Losing balance walking on water
The power of zero is now more..
Or Nothing..
Non Existent...
Absolute Zero...
No Function. No Value
Philosophical Opinions
On Mathematical how to's
Unpredictable values of an Egg shape number
Or a Circular Ring to increase your digit
A Super Numerical Valuation are you understanding it? Negative or Positive , Reverse put in Drive
A Slippery Zero in Neutral ...
Pathway can potentially crash into another
Unaware of the movements and motion of others
But still connected to one another
Existing Interconnected on a coexisting web
Family is forever
An Instinctive Love of a Mother..
Be still ...
Like Lotus pettles...
In a stream...
No ocean...
Calming. Flowing...
Atoms all in slow motion
Magnetism.. Schism..
Scientific expression and religion
Spiritual vision..
Or Missing link I've been missing...
Reminiscing. Making progress
But RANDom VARiables brought me here.
I outta just go walk my ass to the store and go get more beer.
I don't expect no handouts
Never been the hero..
A pick me up would probably be alright because I'm running on zero...
I need a miracle....
So I can just roll it up in a cigar..
So maybe i could just forget about it Fade back ....
Wish upon a star..
Put these feelings in this jar..
Then Bury it..
Never tell a soul...
Fill this void with stupid shit and still left with this hole...
Talking to my reflection again...
AAA Batteries
Life's push and pull
A battery in a bunny
I feel like life's fool
Chasing butterflies like a dummy..
Fuck it... Im walking a tight rope. But I gotta remember to find balance.
Inner peace flowing...
No pain.. Nor malice..
Just let out a little steam..
Complex.. Life perception in a dream
Here back.. Now... Fingers on letters
Calm my breathing...
Feel slightly better...
Lump in my throat..
Push it out.
Imagine a boat..
Pull up the anchor..
Move... Move a little faster..
Be a good pup and wait by the door for my master
In reality..
Im ok.. Cool.. Just me..
I dont know. Im just a fool
Bilateral choice
Not always what you see..
Fork in the road..
Trident. Love..
Princess and the toad..
I mean Frog..
Forever being a listener..
I dont know why i cant seem to put some more bliss in her...
Or.. Something...
I forgot Um.. Its nothing...
Love laugh live.. That really should be the subject instead...
The moment... The future is now. The present is history.
Choose love forever more
My minds.. Is really a mystery..
Honestly..
Unpredictable...
Individual.. Non pattern..
My mind is like a factory..
REM. Vibes. And grey matter
Eh.. Yes.. Serotonin
And Dopamine... Maybe i could get better flow in the back of my neck and cowlick. Remember that one time that one dude did something hilarious and yep.... You feel that.. Focus the flow. Imagine the drip. Or not... Maybe it worked...
Big Words at 10pm
Momentarily delusional
A bit slightly confusional
I Personally believe it's the greatest story never told
Mundane from the outside
Illustrated pictures of houseflies
Abstract Spiritual
Universal questions unfold
Philosophical theoretical
Visual perspective distorted Off focus... No Filter
No diagnosis for medication.
Impatience
Interrupting Meditation
Simplify Frequencies
Shapes of Wavelengths and Vibrations
into Acoustic levitation
I Nod off in Euphoric elevation
Unorganized time
and poor punctuation skills
results in Opportunity Losses
And possible revocation
Missing Appointments for Probation
Procrastination
Having unrealistic dreams...
Unrealistic doesn't mean impossible... but how much more realistic it becomes when it becomes more than probable. Mathematically possible
But probably just projections
of unaffordable vacations
Lost in Daydreams Of
Timeless relations.
Consistently asking for forgiveness
from a compilation
of emotional responses
translates into a business
Proposition...
No contract visible...
I can't agree verbal and I personally don't believe in superstition
Awareness in the supernatural.
Trust, Love.
Spiritually awoken..
Love believes all things
Not to turn into an awkward position
Evolves into silence and awkward conversations
Another Random
Neurotic Narrative
of Therapeutic
Sessions of Self Affirmations.
Discovering serendipitous innovative conversations
side effects include
Achieve-afobic
Evasion
Observations
on Superficial expectations
Still never being met...
Adaptation... to being.. less than
Periodically searching for answers
To life's objections
Aside from the sporadic
Reclusive, Studies
The abstract, fuckin stupid
Non-interactive,
Repeat plots of short stories
of both widely known titles...
and the infamous.
Short Stories On Google Maps
I got the blues... I don't got time to pick and choose.
Honestly I could care less if i lose...
And I'll begin by saying this probably isn't about you.
Another Self talk therapy session
Just telling me what to do
Paranoid and this Fucked up attitude...
Leaves me high and dry again
Stuck sippin my booze
Not your fault i know
I'm too analytical. Psychological...
Incidental damage to the brain.
Making it difficult to stay in my own lane...
Feeling this damn Energy drain
But I pray it's only hypothetical... Neurological pain
No solution To a fixed game
Mental Intrusive vocabulary.. Driving me insane.
Fucking up everything that I'm saying.
That's why I always keep praying
LOVE still BELIEVES ALL things...
Walk on water ... Another walk of faith...
Another pointless conversation And Staying up way too late
Developing this self hate
To distorted memories that don't relate...
Complexities in the energies ...
But still desperately needed therapy...
I'm not in a dream.. .
Balance In the supernatural... A Bridge in between
Predictable... Interactive... YouTube live stream...
Building truth. Bridge gaps. Innovate. Educate
Short Stories... On Google maps
Unspoken... Spiritually awoken..
Lost my damn token
No more dead man's coins...
Lost and losing hope..
In all this damn dope..
Or this Narrative... Therapeutic reflection...
Periodically searching for life's objections
Grateful for any spiritual protection
Discover judges... In court... Yea .. Objection...
...They wanna say that I ain't livin right.
But who's really living right?...
I'm socially abstract.. anonymous. Still in this shit.
I guess if I just gave up right now
That'd make more sense.
Projecting my anxiety.. Not even part of society
No surprise I still believe all these fuckin lies to me...
Poetic Philosophy... My world set aflame..
Time is frozen in a moment. I'm on fire. But feel no pain.
Looks like wishful thinking...
Dreaming... Not being realistic..
Still selling dreams...
And Yea... i need to re-up ...
Flip another quarter... Simple probability...
Heads or tails... Flipped the coin
Overthinking.. Smoke a joint
Fuck it. Forget it. Still not the point..
Pretend it's not real... Psychosis... Delirium.
If you call it that.
I'm dazed but not Confused
Brain overworking
About to blow a fuse
Cynical podcast
What's the world coming to...
Flicker of Light
Proved A Cloud of Dope...
Rose from flicked ashes...
Exhale another cloud of smoke...
Most times I just got jokes
Imagining late night talk shows
Script not written. Observed reality
Mixed with bullshitting..
No vision... Obviously not written...
Random story lines.
Clearly needing medicine
But in this fucked up loop again
And if looked at from different angles
Truth in Fictionalized Ideas
Start to become untangled.
Life...
Life happens when it happens..
No time for regrets.
My reality is complicated
Bring me on to the next..
No disrespect my mind is troubled
I cross the bridge as it burns
Its like I'll never learn as the world still turns.
I'm like a black hole. When the world revolves around me.
You're lost if you get too close.
Energy evolving.
My riddle lost for the solving
All senses heightened.
Everything is perfectly clear
When my vision was fully enlightened.
And everything was great for a while.
As if the world were in my pocket.
I change pants trying to stop it..
Still thinking of You.
Absolutely Nothing...
I almost forget to just chill..
Simplify my mind
Just keep it real..
Keep my mind...
Focused...
Stop...
Just for a second...
Let it melt off...
Top...
Shoulders
Down...
Hands
Down..
Toes...
Center ...
.
Breath ...
.
Optimistic
Don't be over-complicated
Stay simplistic...
Negative or Positive...
Doesn't matter it keeps us moving
Studies say...
A positive charge still needs grounding to conduct power...
...
WHO knows.
I don't know...
When I'm reading...
Studies show...
Blend with progressive mindsets.
Things we already know...
Basically mixing new shit with the old
Or keep the same...
Trying to care less in this game...
Maybe...
Just saying...
Compromise...
Why not shape our future exactly how we'd like...
But balanced...
Technology will get much more advanced...
But learning it.
Cogs in motion
Turning it...
Fire proof...
To keep from burning it.
Or water proof...
Or anything proof...
I don't need proof
Relax...
Before i fall into a loop...
Thank You
This helps...
Tangible reminders
About
Absolutely Nothing
Blood Pressure
She got my mind twistin and turnin.
Now I'm fucked up in the head...
We used to kick it. But now im trippin. Got locked up in the feds...
Reminiscing got me thinking too much. Believing lies...
I know i caused a lot of pain
Rolling the bowl and getting high...
But still i try. So why lie and make me feel like she cared..
When in reality ...She called the feds and I wasn't there...
I was on the run for 3 months until they brought my ass here...
I only got like 30 months. She wished i got like 30 years.
But i don't got 30 years. Got my blood pressure jumpin...
My heart be beatin out of my chest
I feel my blood pumpin...
Back in the days we had love
and my feelings just ain't the same...
She started fuckin with her old friends and started playing these games.
Actin like everything is ok. Then going back to the old ways.
Look in my eyes and she would say .
You have a place that you can stay...
But anyways. I ain't trippin.
Don't give a fuck what it means...
Word on the street say she fuckin around,
turned into a dopefene...
So here we go...
Round and round like she's holding me down...
I write and call. Day after day and don't hear a sound...
The ups and down got me out of it. Don't know what to do.
They say I'm crazy.. But she made me... What the fuck do i do...
